


Malt Profile

by whathopsareinthis



Series: Comfortable Silence [3]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Beer, Groose is a Drunk shithead, Lots of Beer, M/M, Trans Female Character, this is technically part 3, this site is weird sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-30 21:53:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15760443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whathopsareinthis/pseuds/whathopsareinthis
Summary: Ganon drinks a beer or eight at Tatl and Tael and gives his balance some thought. There's an altercation and Ganon decides to be there.





	Malt Profile

**Author's Note:**

> the berliner weisse i describe in this part is real. 
> 
> get ready to learn more about beer than you ever wanted to know

“It’s taken.”

Ganon is more direct this time, more anxious than annoyed. Link hasn’t texted him since when they were last together and it’s made this moment more tense than it probably needs to be. The scuffling of stool gearing against ground is cut short as the woman next to him, taken aback by the response, frowns and clutches the back of the seat she seeks to occupy.

“I’m waiting for someone. Seat’s taken.”

This doesn’t sit well with the new patron. She opens her mouth to make some sort of dissatisfied scoff, and follows up with, “You’re the only one here and I want a-“

“Look, dude, the seat’s taken.” A woman behind the bar that Ganon doesn’t recognize addresses her now, one eye twitch away from toying with the pierced ring at the corner of her mouth as she asserts Ganon’s claim. “Plenty of other spots at the bar. Normally I let folx seat themselves wherever, but I’ve kept my eye on you ever since you left your card here Friday. If you think this chucklehead is gonna buy your way to a night of mediocre sex with the lights on,  _ in his socks,  _ then you’re sorely mistaken.” 

The woman pans her gaping mouth over to Ganon, then to the keep, and moves three seats down exactly. 

Impa reappears behind the bar, flashing a wink at Ganon before taking her order. The staff at Tatl and Tael were known for their “unique” customer service, which has given them more than a few reviews on Gossip Stone. Even with a low key decor, a fantastic tap selection, and one of the best happy hours in the city, they were notorious for having zero tolerance for what Zee calls “drunken fuckboy bullshit.” And now, by some stroke of luck, they’re catering to ensuring things go exactly the way they needed to.

This is not the Gerudo’s first thought. Ganon is blushing, hard. 

How does she know about the socks? 

His composure is rocked once again as his new confidante leans in. “Sorry about that. Back when dick was a thing I dabbled in, you were really good. I just wanted to make sure Link got his seat. Apparently your basic ass charmed the pants off of him.” She grins. “Allow me to reintroduce myself. I’m Zelda, but Zee works and I don’t respond to much else.” Her tone seems familiar to Ganon, and his eyes widen as he realizes where he knew her from and blushes harder. “Aren’t you-“

“ **Not.** Anymore.” Zee’s outburst stops him cold as she pulls the handle with a hard thunk. “Another word about it and this little date is over faster than you pop a boner.” Ganon swallows the follow up. A rush of humiliation drenches his face and his gratitude over this second date floods his complexion.

The stool next to Ganon shifts and the floor makes an unceremonious groan as Link settles in. He waves to Zee and Impa calls, “Babe! Do you need more of those?”

“Maybe for two flights!” Zee sets the taster down and points at Link, inquiring if he wants anything with a quick point. Link takes a sip of the beer meant for Ganon and ponders for a moment, allowing his palate to deliver the ruling. He nods and points to the taster before leaning up to give Ganon a quick kiss, hand tugging on his arm for support. Ganon smooths out Link’s hair as the smaller man responds with a gentle nuzzle.

“Alright you two.” Zee raps her knuckles on the bar top to make sure vibrations garner Link’s attention. “Link here has informed me that your beer game is uninspired at best and weak as fuck at worst.” She turns to pour Link a pint. “So! Your twink and I came up with this idea. Consider this your beer boot camp.” Thunk! The handle is set back to neutral. “One catch.” A rag wipes off excess foam as the head of the beverage settles and laces the rim of the glass. “Whatever you don’t finish, I charge you for. A good beer is a terrible thing to waste.”

Setting the glass in front of Link, she sets up to address the first concoction.

“This here is called a Pilsner. It’s a lager, which means it takes longer and ferments at a colder temperature to alter the yeast. The hop in it is Gerudian, so it’s got a little bit of spice while remaining refreshing and crisp.” Ganon lifts the glass. “The beer is named after this hop, which is called Noble. Short for -“

“‘In search of noble pursuit.’” Ganon tilts the glass to let a small sample past his lips, and his face contorts as he accepts the strange new texture on his tongue. Link snorts and rubs Ganon’s back, feigning sympathy. “It’s okay if you don’t like it. You’re not used to lagers.” Zee is matter-of-fact in her delivery, and Ganon has the notion that he’s being spoken down to etched in the back of his mind. “Pilsners have a more forward malt profile. Not as prevalent in a lot of the swill you drink.” Her face betrays the insult as she sticks her tongue out. “Malt can make all the difference. Even just a little change can make or break a batch.” 

Ganon shrugs. “It’s just different.” He offers another sip as proof, the beer passing down his gullet easier now. “You’re right. I can taste the spice.”

“Typically, you wanna talk about beer as if you would liquor. The pour, the finish, the nose - they’re all different sensations that culminate the experience of drinking a beer.” Link wipes his mouth after a swig of his own. 

“I’ll have a pint of it.” Ganon asks in his native tongue, rapping against the countertop himself to give a context clue.

Zee smiles.

 

-

An hour and a half goes by as Link nurses his third beer, usually just asking for a pint of whatever Ganon doesn’t like. The afternoon passes with relative ease, Ganon going from a flight of darker beers to a Termina Bay shandy. The clientele of Castle Town files in and populates the venue, but this passes with little interest. Ganon begins to develop more thoughtful preferences, but raises an eyebrow as Zee sets two bottles of what appears to be syrups on the countertop. 

“Sours! Let’s talk about them.” She grabs another taster and rinses before whipping around with “Red or green?”

“Uh.” Ganon squints at the bottles.

“Some sours, like the Potion here, are brewed in such a way that they’re enhanced by having a syrup added to it. Traditionally, you can choose between red or green.” Almost by second nature, Link taps on the green bottle without looking up from his phone. He’s been noticeably uninvolved aside from asking Zee for beer he isn’t paying for. Ganon avoids side-eyeing his absent date and grunts, “Red.”

Impa approaches to listen in as Zee continues. “At the end of the day, just like people, beer is just a few ingredients in perfect balance.” The tap handle  **thunks** back against the wall as she finishes her pour. “Hops, water, malt, yeast. How you apply them brings out the most potential in a given style.” Ganon’s headspace plays with the metaphor as he hums and takes a sip. The tartness forces a sneer out of him. Too much. 

“Aw, fuck off. That’s a good sour!” 

Ganon shakes his head, pushing the glass away. “Maybe my balance doesn’t handle sours.” Zee steers the discussion towards open fermentation and wild yeast as Ganon props a hand below his chin, his side-eye finally wandering towards his ‘date.’ Impa has been quiet up until now when she’s not busy with customers, and the lull in business grants her a moment to slip an arm around Zee, barkeep senses keen to pick up on Ganon’s unease. “How’s everything going here?”

“He doesn’t like sours, Immy. Not even a little!” She delivers the pout of the century as Impa, the elder of the couple, rubs her lower back and counters with a gentle, “Maybe he’s just been through eight different beers and his palate needs a break.” Zee slouched with a harrumph as she runs the dishwasher. Impa rolls her eyes. “And people are surprised that she’s a pillow princess.” Ganon perks as she asks, “Need a water?” The Gerudo nods and leans back in his seat, considering for a brief moment to text Link and ask if something was the matter.

Impa plants a forehead kiss to her partner and motions towards Link with the subtlety of a fake orgasm. 

Ganon is careful not to seem too plussed about this date seeming to be an excuse for Link to drink for free, but his jaw refusing to unclench as he pulled some water from his glass isn’t helping him. 

He turns toward Link to find that something has come between them.

 

-

Link threads locks of his hair behind his ear as he adjusts the earbud in his canal. He feels a hand press entirely too hard into his shoulder as he’s used for leverage. The air surrounding him is quick to be polluted, hot breath drenched in vodka hitting his ear and cheek. Link is frozen now, hoping that whoever is next to him gets the hint or bores himself. He’s done this enough times to know that Zee or Impa will step in. This place has a reputation, after all. The grip tightens. It yanks on his shirt, trying to turn him. 

That’s when another hand, one less foreign, slides forward and actually pulls him from the chair, and he stumbles against Ganon’s chest. Link’s breath fills out his chest as his date’s cologne permeates and eases him into the Gerudo’s grasp as he faced away. His hand is covered by Ganon’s own. Link doesn’t dare open his eyes but he can breathe a bit easier. Another hand fumbles with the front of Link’s shirt before a hard bang forces his eyes open. A man equal in stature to Ganon sans his hair has frozen in place, clutching a tuft of Link’s shirt. He’s staring at Zee, who’s got both hands on the table, having been the source of the sudden noise. She’s angrier than he’s ever seen her, and the lips that Link reads are telling the other patron, with a frightening certainty, to kindly make himself scarce. The hand relents,  and Ganon gets himself between the two, never letting go of Link’s hand and squeezing gently. Link stumbles a bit as Ganon is forced back, his leg leaning to apply weight forward.

Ganon’s back pocket lights up with a text just as Zee vaults over the bar.

 

-

Ganon steps back as Zee uses the momentum of her legs and grabs Groose by the shirt and finishes reading this fucking asshole the riot act before turning to Ganon, who honestly never wants to be on the other end of any kind of tirade she might lobby on him. Zee’s reaction time overwhelms him and he immediately gives in. Tugging Groose by the shirt out the back of the bar, she barks, “Take him home, _ now _ . We can talk about your tab another time.” Ganon has never left a bar with another man quicker. He only wishes it wasn’t under the worst of circumstances. 

There’s a text on his phone. Link buries his face against Ganon’s chest as he peers over the text, this one from Impa. It’s Link’s address. Ganon’s mind doesn’t even begin to fathom how she’s got his number.

_ Don’t worry about the shitlord just now, he’s banned from every bar in this district.  _ Immy adds that as a palate-cleanser. Ganon eyes the intersection they hover and makes for a left, a cab screeching to a halt to grace their presence. Ganon completes the visual of a distracted ex-millenial by checking his phone with another message popping up. 

_ You’re gonna need to do better than not drink solely IPAs to make this work with him. How you do that is up you. _

Link has to tug on Ganon to get his attention as he takes another four or five passes at the text. 

Ganon’s grip on Link tightens ever so slightly.

-

 

Link is curled in Ganon’s bed, his shaking having rescinded since the encounter resolved itself. Ganon’s beer clunks on the nightstand as he rubs his face. Link is surprised by how wound up the entire ordeal has made him. They both need space, moments of self-preservation to allow the adrenaline to wash out in the tide. A gentle hip hop beat lulls in the background from a laptop as Ganon peers behind him. Link is facing the wall, a night shirt modestly covering his frame. He feels the weight shift under him and Link’s eyes shoot open. Hw tenses noticeably as a palm gently curled around his side, fingers carefully following. He stretches out to lay and concave with Link’s form, his pointed nose pressing into Link’s hair. He inhales Link’s shampoo and his eyes close, that second hand sliding along the back of his neck as he traced:

_ I’m here. _

Link is pulled into be properly embraced and the next time his eyes close he’s drifted off to sleep.

-

Ganon kisses the top of Link’s head, and speaks as if answering a question.

“I’m here.”

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote my first ending to this collection today. it won't be for a while, i have plenty more in store for our imperfect couple.


End file.
